I want so much to feel love, to BE loved. . . .but for some reason I don't feel as though I am worthy of love right now. I'm not sure why, maybe because I have not actually been loved by a man in many years, or maybe because I don't feel happy with my appearance? Will I finally feel worthy after I open my business and am my ideal 95lbs.? or will I only want to be smaller?
In any sense I have been doing well on my cleanse/fast this week.
I have lost 2lbs. and feel a little better from earlier this week.
Little by little this year I will get to place where I feel good about myself and my appearance.
Right now I feel good about my house, my environment, my son, and my work, but not me.
I guess that's the point of work in progress, but I feel so alone.
I feel like I will never be loved. This is my rant -
I have a couple of people in my life who want to get close to me, but only for their own personal gain, because they find me attractive and see that I am strong and intelligent and have my life together, and I actually have a life and they don't, so they want my time and my energy, but I don't have those to give or waste. These people only want to take when right now I need to give to myself and take care of my son, that's it. I have nothing left to give to others. Those people don't love me, they only want me to entertain them. -
And this is my lesson-
If I feel empty, how can I give?
How can I love without anyone to love me back?
If I take care of everyone else who takes care of me?
Stay strong, and don't let people take from you without them giving back.
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