Need Support? To Talk? Someone to Listen? I'm here for you My Loves

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Feeling strong and beautiful

Hi all,
I hope you are doing great!
Today I feel really good. I feel strong and I have that losing feeling in my stomach and ribs which makes me feel great! I have had two cups of coffee and three bottles of water today and one handful of Edamame with my vitamins. Which is a much better choice then the corn chips I had the other day.
I can see results in my torso. I am not tired or sore or hungry, so it is a good day. I have more then my share of energy today lol!
I hope you are all doing wonderful!

Have a good new year If I don't update before then my dearies.

Edamame!

Protein rich and a big help for appetite suppressing.
this morning I had a handful of these with my vitamins and didn't feel nauseous like I usually do if I take them on an empty stomach. And I have had more energy and strength then I normally do.
These are great! I also ordered these no calorie noodles called Miracle noodles.
that have no nutritional value except a little fiber which we all could use more of.
I'm excited to try them since I stay far away from anything starchy. They are gluten and soy free for those of you who have allegies. You can look them up at www.miraclenoodles.com


Here's some more info on Edamame.

Edamame" are edible, green, immature soybeans.
They're one of my favorite foods to recommend eating.
That's because they're a good source of complete protein, high in fiber, a source of essential omega 3 fat, and rich in calcium, iron, zinc and B vitamins.
Plus they taste good!
You can buy green soybeans three ways:
out of the pod ("shelled")
in the pod ("unshelled")
dry roasted
Edamame Calories, Shelled
Per 1/2 cup:
100-130 calories
9 g carbohydrate
8-11 g protein
3 g fat
4 g fiber
Edamame Calories, Unshelled
Per 1/2 cup:
75 calories
7 g carbohydrate
6 g protein
2 g fat
3 g fiber

Edamame Calories: Dry Roasted
Per 1/4 cup:
130 calories
10 g carbohydrate
14 g protein
4 g fat
8 g fiber
Edamame Nutrition Tip
Prioritize buying organic soybeans whenever you can.
Soybeans are one of the crops most likely to be genetically modified.
You should be aware of these monstrous creations (a.k.a., "frankenfoods)," and try to avoid them for better health.
A Guide to Choosing non-GMO Foods.
100% organic foods are not permitted to be genetically modified.
Serving Suggestions
Snack on, cold or hot, any time of day.
Keep a bag of dry roasted edamame with you in the car and when you travel.
Substitute mashed soybeans for mashed potatoes: Puree with low sodium vegetable stock (ratio 3:1) and a little salt and pepper.
Add to stir fry or salads.
Add to rice and pasta dishes.
Use in place of garbanzo beans in hummus recipes.
Use in place of peas in recipes.

Stay strong my loves!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Losing fat, Gaining Muscle

Thank you for your Comments I really appreciate them!

Unfortunately I forgot to take my vitamins today. But I'll take them later today when I get home from work.
I feel good today. This morning I felt bloated but luckily it subsided by this afternoon  and I can see I have lost weight. I also see the muscle I built recently, so I won't be too upset if the numbers on the scale are the same, but I'm not going to weigh unless I really see a lot of difference. I really want to see a smaller number on the scale. I have only a couple more days til my pictures, and I'm nervous that I won't be thin enough. I have been drinking tons of water every day and it feels like it is making me hold on to weight. Yes It helps me not feel as hungry, but it also makes me feel bloated and fat.
I think I may start counting calories soon. It seems to be a great way to keep track of what goes in the body. I haven't done it before because I usually go with how my body feels, but I think I should considering I have a sweet tooth and allow myself to have a little candy sometimes. I know the calories add up. I have tried to help my sweet tooth with fruit, but it makes me feel too full.
well I'll keep you all updated on how pictures come out and how I'm doing.

Thank you for your support loves.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays to everyone! December is a hard month to lose in, but If we stick together  we'll at least not gain.
I work out 4 days a week and unfortunately I feel like I built more muscle in my upper body.
I'm not too happy about it but it's part of my job. I will have to work really hard to lose weight. I am not happy with where I am right now. I have pictures being taken next Friday so I am contemplating not eating until picture day. I am getting very frustrated with this weight!! I know bf won't let me do that. Hmmm how can I do this? Yesterday I did really good. I felt strong. This morning I had some Frito corn chips with my mom and son when I dropped him off at her house. I had them because I had taken my Vitamins on an empty stomach and I felt so nauseous.(I know very bad) it was a handful so about 140 calories. But for me every cal matters. I can feel when I'm gaining the moment I eat something, and I can feel when I'm losing after a day of fasting. Yesterday I felt that tingle in my ribs like I was losing, and this morning I felt a tiny bit of bloating like I was gaining. Hopefully if I don't eat anything else today it'll balance out. And tomorrow I'll start with my fast. I plan to have my vitamins with a protein shake (90  calories) then nothing but coffee and water the rest of the day for how ever long it takes.
I feel determined. Yesterdays strength and that feeling of losing is my inspiration.
Stay Strong my lovelies! And Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Consistency is Key

What they say is right. I spent yesterday cleaning shopping and cooking. I bought two new full length mirrors (mainly for dancing) but I couldn't't help admiring my frame in them. I feel like all my effort is starting to pay off! I still have a ways to go but I am happy to see that all my work is not for nothing. I think my insatiable thirst was my body thinking I was going to stop drinking all the water I had been so it was holding on to every bit of it. I'll admit its hard to stay on track when I'm home. But here it is Tuesday again and I'm feeling strong!

You too my lovelies stay strong!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Today is the day

Sooooo hungry! Today. Why?
 I'm sure it's all mental.
I feel good and look smaller :-)
Since I have been so hungry today I agreed with myself that I will allow as many apples (negative calories) as I want. And try to drink tons of water.

 So far I've had one cup of coffee two bottles of water, an apple and I'm  about to sip on a delightful cup of warm bullion soup ( a chicken bullion cube in hot water) 10 calories per cube!
That usually knocks the hunger right out for awhile since it's warm.

I don't have any binge foods in my house right now so I think that helped me over the weekend, but I did drink so That makes me retain fat and water. I did b/p this weekend mainly on Mondays are my b/p days I usually do it 3 or more times during that day and I don't keep anything I eat.

In the last 6 months I have been obsessed with growing my hair longer and making it more healthy. It has been a little longer then the middle of my back for about 2 years now. l trimmed my hair about 6 weeks ago but I trimmed it too much I took off 2 inches, but it's finally back to my normal length! Yay!


I would love tips and tricks to make my hair long thick and beautiful! Please send me some if you have any tips. Thank you loves! I can see a big difference in my hair since 6 months ago so I must be doing something right.

Stay strong loves!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Dancing!

Yay! I'm going dancing tonight! I'm excited :-)
I felt good this morning I drank two cups of coffee and two bottles of water and now I'm on my Third.
I feel strong and like I've made a break through. Last night I actually enjoyed the feeling of hunger I felt. After a little bit I didn't feel hungry anymore. I was feeling hungry a few minutes ago too so I mixed my new obsession. Sugar Free on the go drink mix. It's for water bottles, you take a sip of water then mix in the drink mix. It's calorie free and tastes great! Most of these mixes have about 5 to 10 calories in them. Some also have extra vitamins in them so that is great! Speaking of vitamins I forgot to take mine today. I take a multivitamin everyday and I love it. So I'll make sure to take it when I get home. I found this site yesterday that I really like here is a link I has a lot of information on nutrition facts and Safe negative calorie foods, and also has tips how to avoid pressure to eat. It's called project shape shift. Here's the link . So far I feel good and I look a little better too. I'm going to do some sit ups and other exercises while I have a break today.
Stay strong my darlings!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pro-Ana

So, yesterday went well, I drank lots of water and only ate carrots, cucumbers, and snap peas for dinner with the fam mainly because of the pressure to eat from the bf. I have had two cups of coffee and one bottle of water so far today. I don't feel any better today then yesterday though I feel huge! I know because of thanksgiving I gained. My bf will be out of town this  weekend! He leaves tomorrow, so I'm going to use this weekend to clean my house, work out, and play with my son. It'll be a perfect opportunity to take off the extra holiday weight. I'll weigh myself when I feel and see a difference and then we will go from there. Right now my tummy is hanging out and I feel gross. I how can you be a size 3 and still have a belly? I don't get it! I feel like my legs and my butt are huge! I would like to state a goal of getting down to a size 2 at least for now. Right now I wear 3/4 or 3. I think if I lose 10 pounds we'll see what size I fit in.

 I found some information I'd like to share with all of you. When I read this it is very inspiring and holds some very good tips.

Here is a link http://www.heartland.com/93147-pro-ana-tips

Stay strong my lovelies!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Sick

I'm still sick. It's not the kind that leaves you with no appetite, it's being thirsty at night and waking up with a sore throat. I've been drinking a lot more water but it still has not helped.
I do not feel thinner either so I'm not happy about that. :-( Well, I ended up eating out with my bf last night and then we went to the movies, not before I p, but I was too worried about looking like I'd been in the bathroom too long. It has been very hard for me to get it out lately, maybe it has to do with having a sore throat but I Do Not Like It! I don't think I got it all out yesterday and at the movies I devoured a kids popcorn WITH butter! Oh No! It tasted so salty and apparently my body wanted the salt, It was in me for almost Two hours until the movie was over and we got home then I P again but I know that wasn't all of it. I know I'm not over 119 but I feel like a failure, If I did lose any weight I gained It back. So starting again I will begin restricting and fasting again. Today I've had one cup of coffee and one bottle of water and some medicine. I feel good so far, let's see how the rest of the day goes!
Wish me luck! Be stronger then me lovelies!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Resist

I've been sick this week :-(. I am feeling better though. I took Wednesday and Thursday off and rested all day Wednesday. It felt nice to sleep, but I felt bad that I didn't get anything accomplished so when I got up I cleaned my house and organized some things that were in a box. That was good. I got my cafe fit coffee in! And I've had some for the last couple days, I don't feel much different though but that could be because of thanksgiving yesterday where I was forced to eat, And my bf stuffed apple pie in my mouth saying he was full. :-( even after p I still felt big!

Awe well, the weekend is here and I plan to fast for three days, and drink a lot of water and emergen-c.


Stay Lovely ;-)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday!

Hi everyone,
         I'm doing good this afternoon. I'm excited to go dancing tonight. :-) After work I plan to buy a new mini dress for tonight. My small dresses are loose so I want to get something that is actually form fitting. I'm on my second cup of coffee today. I woke up tired and sore. I'm not as tired now but I feel lazy. I think the coffee has stifled my taste buds, because I can't really taste anything.
well, this evening I will probably have soup again and have a few drinks when I go out.

Take care, and stay beautiful loves!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Hiyo

Good afternoon to everyone! I'm feeling good today. I got some sleep thank goodness.
I rested and drank some good coffee this morning. I've been at work for awhile already but so far my day is going fast. I do have a sore throat today though. I think it's either from starting to get sick or possibly from playing hide and go seek with my son yesterday.
I had a protein shake for dinner last night and drank a bunch of grape juice and only  one more bottle of water.
I'm going to make it a goal to drink more water (I know I keep saying that)
I read that Drinking ice cold water before bed and when you wake up helps with weightloss, but my teeth are sensitive. :-(
I am going to start eating more negative calorie foods, but not enough that I'll feel the weight in my stomach, and I'll start after my three day liquid fast. I feel like I drank too many calories yesterday.





Since I feel like I'm getting sick I am taking my vitamins like normally but I'm also going to drink some Emergen-C in water today.
I'm going dancing tomorrow! I'm super excited because I always feel like a got a great work out in when I do. ;-)
I was looking up coffee online and I found this site that says their coffee is fortified with vitamins and will boost your metabolism and It claims to help you feel great and lose weight. It's called CafeFit.
Click here if you want to see the site for it. I ordered some today. I'm going to try it and see if I feel any better or lose any weight. I'll let you know when it comes! I'm excited to try it! I drink coffee everyday anyways so why not right?

So, I'm on my second cup of coffee today and plan to drink water and emergen-C for the rest of the day until I get home, then I plan to have some tomato or butternut squash soup.
So far I do feel lighter but I won't weigh myself again until Saturday morning.

 Stay strong loves!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Good Morning

This morning I woke up at 4am and could not get back to sleep.
It's cold outside I can feel it. I tossed and turned in bed for 30 minutes and couldn't stop thinking.
I was invited to a friend's Birthday part this weekend and plan to go shopping for them, I thought about what I would get them, and I plan to go an hour late so I can avoid being pressured to eat.
Thanksgiving is next week, and I always get slack from my mom if I don't eat "Enough".
Enough by who's standard? and I get the look of 'what did you just do?' if I head to the bathroom shortly after a meal.
At least in the last couple years my mother has believed me when I've told her that I don't do that anymore, but the truth is I do it after almost every meal, if I eat a meal, generally I eat one meal a day, and I try to avoid that too, but sometimes it's not possible because my bf whom I live with is always trying to make me eat.
 If I lived alone I wouldn't purge as much, only when I get those insatiable cravings and binge. I try to designate days for that now, because I don't want to be caught. I think I'm going to go on a 3 day liquid fast soon, but when? when can I avoid pressure to eat more from my bf? I guess yesterday was good, except I did eat some licorice last night (trust me I'm not happy about it)
I did weight myself this morning and I'm plateauing at 119lbs.
 I need to do something to kick start my weightless again. I think a fast is just what I need.
Since today is Wed and the party is Saturday night, I think today would be perfect to start.
I know I need to drink more water, but I hate the way it makes me feel too full, and bloated.
Today so far I'm on my second cup of coffee! I LOVE Coffee <3 so much. I hope I won't be too tired today. Well I'll check back in later.

Stay Beautiful Ladies!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Hello Lady

I like the feeling of being light as if I could fly. I can't stand the way food feels in my stomach. I'm not super thin, and I'm not as thin as I'd like to be. I have OCDs and it has gotten worse lately. I haven't been binging and purging as much lately mainly because I had a sore throat up until today.
So I haven't been eating as much also. As for my OCD I have to have everything in the right place in my house and can't feel cluttered, and I can't eat enough that I FEEL it. If I eat that much then I Have to purge it, so I try not to go over that amount.
usually I'll only drink coffee and water through out the day while I'm working then in the evenings I'll come home and make dinner for my son (who is one years old) and my bf.
then I'll eat with them and purge it out. I'm a pescatarien.
I do have a sweet tooth in the evenings but only eat fat free candy. And I like to drink wine or a beer in the evening to wind down with, but I've stayed off the beer lately and have been drinking merlot once and a while. I'm about to head to the grocery store to get something to cook for dinner. Today I drank 3 cups of coffee and one bottle of water. I know I  should drink way more water. I will when I get home. Tonight while my son and bf eat dinner I'll eat a light butternut squash soup for dinner and I'll drink a glass of wine while I cook.
I'll keep you guys updated on what I eat and my weight.
I'll weight myself in a couple days and post a current weight.
Have a good evening and stay beautiful ladies!