Good Morning

This morning I woke up at 4am and could not get back to sleep.
It's cold outside I can feel it. I tossed and turned in bed for 30 minutes and couldn't stop thinking.
I was invited to a friend's Birthday part this weekend and plan to go shopping for them, I thought about what I would get them, and I plan to go an hour late so I can avoid being pressured to eat.
Thanksgiving is next week, and I always get slack from my mom if I don't eat "Enough".
Enough by who's standard? and I get the look of 'what did you just do?' if I head to the bathroom shortly after a meal.
At least in the last couple years my mother has believed me when I've told her that I don't do that anymore, but the truth is I do it after almost every meal, if I eat a meal, generally I eat one meal a day, and I try to avoid that too, but sometimes it's not possible because my bf whom I live with is always trying to make me eat.
 If I lived alone I wouldn't purge as much, only when I get those insatiable cravings and binge. I try to designate days for that now, because I don't want to be caught. I think I'm going to go on a 3 day liquid fast soon, but when? when can I avoid pressure to eat more from my bf? I guess yesterday was good, except I did eat some licorice last night (trust me I'm not happy about it)
I did weight myself this morning and I'm plateauing at 119lbs.
 I need to do something to kick start my weightless again. I think a fast is just what I need.
Since today is Wed and the party is Saturday night, I think today would be perfect to start.
I know I need to drink more water, but I hate the way it makes me feel too full, and bloated.
Today so far I'm on my second cup of coffee! I LOVE Coffee <3 so much. I hope I won't be too tired today. Well I'll check back in later.

Stay Beautiful Ladies!