Happy Holidays

Happy holidays to everyone! December is a hard month to lose in, but If we stick together  we'll at least not gain.
I work out 4 days a week and unfortunately I feel like I built more muscle in my upper body.
I'm not too happy about it but it's part of my job. I will have to work really hard to lose weight. I am not happy with where I am right now. I have pictures being taken next Friday so I am contemplating not eating until picture day. I am getting very frustrated with this weight!! I know bf won't let me do that. Hmmm how can I do this? Yesterday I did really good. I felt strong. This morning I had some Frito corn chips with my mom and son when I dropped him off at her house. I had them because I had taken my Vitamins on an empty stomach and I felt so nauseous.(I know very bad) it was a handful so about 140 calories. But for me every cal matters. I can feel when I'm gaining the moment I eat something, and I can feel when I'm losing after a day of fasting. Yesterday I felt that tingle in my ribs like I was losing, and this morning I felt a tiny bit of bloating like I was gaining. Hopefully if I don't eat anything else today it'll balance out. And tomorrow I'll start with my fast. I plan to have my vitamins with a protein shake (90  calories) then nothing but coffee and water the rest of the day for how ever long it takes.
I feel determined. Yesterdays strength and that feeling of losing is my inspiration.
Stay Strong my lovelies! And Merry Christmas.