Pro Ana Size 0 intentions

Everyday I wake up with the goal to be better. I can feel I'm on a straighter path to where I want to be. My focus today is liquids only. I have had some water and a cup of coffee today.
Chromium helps with cravings. The body feels more satisfied when you have enough chromium.
I have had my prenatal vitamins, biotin, and chromium supplements. I figure it'll help my body to not feel the need to have food. I'm sure taking supplements give us more nutrition then we can find in our vitamin depleted processed foods.
So nutrition, and a cleansing diet is good.
I'll be cleansing for a couple days and check in soon.

- Blue

Spent 6 hours . . . . pro-ana anti-mia

Ahh the struggle . . . I have fallen and am in the terrible cycle. I spent 6 hours meaning I did that thing six times taking up to an hour each throughout the day when  my anxiety got the best of me  I felt that impulse. Like something pulling me underwater drowning me in my own desperation to feel better.

I will get back up and overcome this. I will be moving soon and see it as a new beginning.
Time to really focus on my happiness. making time for myself, being out and about, and stop this terrible cycle. Anxiety is what brings it on for me lately. So I plan to go to the doctor to get on anxiety medicine to see if it will help. Help is what  need. Freedom from the thing dragging deeper into the ocean. I know I've overcome this before, and I know I can again and the key is happiness and balance.
Until next time lovelies,
Blue

Darling little birds

Dear sweet little birds.. .
    Ah yes I've been MIA for awhile avoiding the scale for quite some time. .. too much on my mind.
I have found something I love though. In your grocery store you can find bags of Broccoli, Cauliflower, and Carrots. My favorite is the broccoli. I'm feeling a little Ana lately more stress related..I need to get a scale... to be continued...

Stay strong my lovelies...

Pro-Ana Intentions

I have been drinking lots of coffee and living mostly off low calorie Popsicles, and coffee.

My intentions are to lose of course.  . . . I have not weighed myself in probably over a month and am not happy with myself right now.
I still struggle with b and p's. Mostly from social pressure to eat. .. eh. I hate eating.

This next weekend I'm going on a little vacation so during the week this week I plan to fast and cleanse. I love fasting and cleansing so It will make me feel so good by the weekend and hopefully I'll be good enough to weigh.

I have some pants that I recently ordered off the internet that are a bit snug when I put them on. I plan to keep them with me while traveling for work this next week and wear them to remind myself not to eat so I can fit into them loosely.

Wish me luck!
I'll update you on how it goes.

-Blue 

Pro-Ana . .. .. Little dolls

Tired all the time, Can't sleep.. .. Here we are the little dolls.
Struggling on our own  ... My loves, you're not alone.

My darlings I am here with you struggling every day with you.

I think to myself how can this be. It's so hard to look at me.

I am so tired, and sick of fighting it sometimes feels like I'm dying.

I fell off the wagon again .. mostly from forced social situations ..but this week I will fly away to freedom.

Fall is here now and it's time to literally purge all the bad energy and negative people out of our lives.
Here we go again fly away blue butterflies. Fly away to freedom.

Love you all,
Thanks for being my secret garden
I can hide away with you and feel safe

Ana Bella

The last couple months have brought big changes for me in my life.
All for the better. I have been a steady 107lbs. and am still focused on dipping down to 100 soon.
I feel over a hump and ready to press forward with that. Plus less eating means more time for other things. Not that I have eaten much lately.
Keep on keeping on going for Ana Bella's sake.
I'm still a size 0 by the way which is good. I still feel like a house though. . . so fleshy and gross.
but there are a time or two where I'll look at myself and see someone Bella looking back at me.

Keep on going my lovelies.
Until next time.
Blue Butterfly

Fly Away Blue Butterfly

The feeling of hunger pangs have become my friend. There is a satisfaction I get from my mid day visitor. Hunger  sensation in my core. It is a welcomed feeling as of late. I revel in it until it dies down. I almost feel it gives me energy. I am 108 right now. I was afraid to get on the scale because I haven't weighed in months, but I'm glad to know. I feel like the empty feeling has helped me feel better about the stress. I usually will eat some fruit or vegg for dinner like I earned it, and it relaxes me. I really enjoy artichoke and salads. I did fall off the wagon recently to go out to eat but I didn't splurge too bad. I have a photo shoot next Wednesday. I'm hoping to lose at least 3 pounds by then.